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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunch of Christmas nuts bragging about their sex lives in a hotel lobby? Chestnuts boasting in an open foyer."

"Nice try, Clooney ""wedding."" I know a casino heist when I see one."

"When I grow up, I want to spend 1/3 of my life sleeping, 1/3 staring at a computer in a tiny cubicle and 1/3 hating myself. (realistic kid)"

"If only the person that named ""walkie talkies"" had been in charge of naming so many more household objects."

"You know Stalin tried to invade Scandinavia But he just couldn't finnish"

"What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common? They both have a hated governor."

"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."

"I can feel you getting distant from me; my only wish for you is that your destination is oncoming traffic."

"If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can't attract the desired boy. Then that means the boy has iron deficiency."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat."