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Joke of the Day

"Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges"

"Warning: NSFW Jokes"

"SECURITY GUARD: ""Sir, I have to check all backpacks"" ME: ""ok"" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*"

"Why did the bicycle stop moving? Because it was two-tiered."

"what did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet"

"I put the ""m"" in illiterate"

"What did earth say to the other planet? ""You guys have no life!"""

"Light is useful It helps us 'c' things."

"If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]"

"Happy and Sad An old man says to his wife, ""Honey, there is no possible way to feel both happiness and sadness at the same time."" The wife says, ""Out of all your brothers, you have the biggest dick."""