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Joke of the Day

"*brings knife to gunfight* *knife used to cut pizza* *pizza served & differences resolved* *last slice up for grabs & gunfight ensues*"

"Wait, so pooping on the entire rim of a toilet, closing the seat over it, and calling it a ""Devil's Oreo"" ISN'T a thing?"

"What does a hooker get from Santa? 50 bucks"

"Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what did the dentist say?"

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking... and then I saw her face..."

"If you don't like the way women drive, Stay off the sidewalk."

"Following in David Bowies footprints.... Well, David Bowie the gender bender is no longer alive on this earth - OK Caitlyn, it's your turn!"

"Life is like a box of chocolates Which doesn't quite fit in the username box"

"What do you call a fight between a mexican and a pedophile? Alien VS Predator"

"At the end of the Age of Dinosaurs what happened to the good ones? They got veloci-raptured."