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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking... and then I saw her face..."

"What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand? I sink therefore I am."

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't go around thinking he's Bono."

"Wife : Even if you cheated on me, I wouldn't leave you. Me : Really? Wife : Yes. Why would I reward you for cheating?"

"I just put a client on hold for five minutes while I went to the break room to heat up a burrito in case you wondered about my work ethic."

"A man with three balls goes to another random guy and tells him: ""you know that together we have 5 balls?"" and the guy replies: ""why, you have only one?"""

"Why did Jared from Subway call Boyz2Men? He thought they had delivery service."

"What's the Square Root of 69? Ate something."

"Did you hear about the abstinent lenses? They never came in contact."

"Life is like a box of chocolates The fatter you are the shorter it lasts"