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Joke of the Day

"Ann! do you remember me? We have so many memories together Ann: **SEGMENTATION FAULT**"

"If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite river? Denial."

"Man: ""Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please"" Waitress: *slaps his face* ""The men I please are none of your damn business!"""

"The fast food restaurant for babies. ""Welcome to Gerber King, may I take your order?"""

"A man in front of me dropped $20 I picked it up and asked myself, what would Jesus do? So I turned it into wine. I bought wine."

"Pretentious? Moi?"

"No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please."

"how do you make pickle bread? with dill dough"

"There were elections in the United States. Tom Hanks went to cast his vote. As soon as he came out of the polling booth after doing so, everyone started applauding. Why? It was a vote of T. Hanks."