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Joke of the Day

"You know how they say ""if you snooze you lose""... I snooze every morning and have never lost any sleep over it."

"What bird can write underwater? A ball-point Penguin!"

"Hillary Clinton is running for president. She just sent the announcement via email."

"police and public Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places! Officer: Then stop going to those places."

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"Sunburn: Getting what you basked for."

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"Pikachu used thunderbolt... Squirtle fainted."

"What do you call a cross between a bulldog and shitzu? Its called ""Whatever comes out of Donald Trump's mouth""."

"My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn't mean together."