2340

Joke of the Day

"How do you make a space party? -You PLANet"

"Saw a group of ants carrying a Funyun and it made me wish my friends and I had a giant Funyun."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't ""budge-it""."

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday. one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!"

"Why Nissan Sunny? Is there Nissan Rainy?"

"So, have you guys seen the headlines about 'Jesus might have had a wife'? I don't know why they're still speculating. After all, it's pretty clear that *someone* was nailing him."

"What has 6 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The Boston marathon finish line."