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Joke of the Day

"I'm an optimistic pessimist... I see the glass as half empty, but there are free refills"

"What did the utahraptor say as Wonder Woman tried to beat him up? Di, no!"

"What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"

"Somebody said you sound like an owl"

"I would never let MY child act like that. -things my friends without kids say."

"I renamed my night club Viagra... It's been 4 hours and people are still cuming!"

"The reason Santa is so Jolly? Is it because he knows where all the BAD girls live?"

"thought i wanted to die but turns out i was just hungry"

"Why haven't we found aliens yet ? because they are searching for intelligent life too."