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Joke of the Day

"Einstein made a theory about space, And it was about time, too!"

"Hey, baby, I wish you were my definite integral so you'd be the thing underneath me."

"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"

"If a mime performs in the forest, and nobody is there to see him, it's all for the best."

"El chiste! Did you hear about the Mexican serial killer? He had Loco motives."

"Commas can change the meaning of a sentence. Example: I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas."

"What's the difference between a tea bag and England? A tea bag stays longer in a cup."

"A clown held the door open for me the other day. I thought that was a kind jester."

"MY EX WIFE STILL MISSES ME... But her theoretical trajectory seems to be improving!"

"I thought Angry Birds was what I get from other drivers."