231613

Joke of the Day

"Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle? No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor."

"I might drive you crazy, but at least I'll take the scenic route."

"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."

"Why are oceans called ""The High Seas""? Because of all the seaweed!"

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now"

"""I'd UberBlack for you."" - what I assume a pick up line in 2016 sounds like"

"It might seem unusual to feed a horse using one's anus. Butt hay, who am I to judge?"

"Ancestry.com will not get a cent of my money until they can tell me which apes I came from."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much it is for a beer. The bartender says ; ""For you.. No charge!"""