231613

Joke of the Day

"Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle? No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor."

"America: We put the 'try' in country."

"You wake in a field, nude, grass stained elbows, knees and a condom in your ass, Do you tell anyone? No? Wanna come camping with me this weekend?"

"Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power"

"What did the scientist say when he discovered the lowest possible temperature? OK"

"How Do You Make Spider-Man Cry? Cook him some Uncle Ben's"

"11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer."

"What do you call a pompous Hobbit? Bilbo Braggins"

"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"

"what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? ""see you next month!"""