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Joke of the Day

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"What do you call an African American astronaut? An astronaut you racist Jerk."

"I was looking for a subtle way to describe my penis... ...and then I went to /r/minimalism..."

"One sperm said to the other sperm ""I'll race you to the egg!"" The other sperm said ""OK, but pace yourself, we just passed the throat!"""

"What do women and rocks have in common? You can skip the flat ones."

"How not to be funny. /r/funny"

"It's taking Arby's forever to fry my salad."

"Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence."

"why don't chickens wear underwear... Because their peckers on their face."

"My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining."