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Joke of the Day

"What'd be worse? Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter?"

"McDonald's french fries are not real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect. Tasted fine, too."

"Six and seven just had a child. Five says ""You lucky devil, you."""

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because fuck you"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Barry ! Barry who ? Barry the dead !"

"Legend say, Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice... Donald Trump tried to count to 10 and got stuck in a paper bag."

"[1st ppl to go camping] wife: what do u wanna do this week? hubs: luxury cruise? w: no h: nice hotel? w: no h: pretend to be homeless w: YES"

"What does a lingerie store and a guitar store have in common? They both sell G-strings"

"Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs"