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Joke of the Day
"Canada's navy"
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"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lic-Alot-O-Puss"
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean...? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest."
"7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie."
"Why did the suicide bomber explode on the train? To get to the other side."
"7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries."
"What looks like half a cat ? The other half !"
"I used to be addicted to frozen sandwiches But I decided to go cold turkey."
"So there I was hanging from the ledge... When I thought ""hold on a minute..."""
"Why does vegan cheese taste bad? It hasn't been tested on mice."