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Joke of the Day

"7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries."

Next Joke
 
"Me: What's one thing you don't like about your girlfriend? Him: She doesn't swallow. Me: What? How does she eat?"
"What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"
"INTERVIEWER: Would you like a donut? ME: *takes three* I: Um, ok, what's your greatest strength? ME: [grabbing two more donuts] Self-control"
"What do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7"
"After the American Revolution, Thomas Paine celebrates by purchasing a new pair of shoes. He declares that these are the times to try men's soles."
"How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'"
"It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad."
"The 4 Kinds of Clickbait Jokes:"
"What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!"