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Joke of the Day

"Wife: [holding old dog] I thought you took care of this yesterday Stormtrooper husband: *looks out back to see gun marks all over the yard*"

"Two gay deer walk out of a bar... One turns to the other and says ""damn dude, I cant beleive you blew twenty bucks in there"""

"What do you call a farting fatass? Gas giant."

"How does ISIS cool down in the summer time? In a blow up pool"

"As a male college student, the only thing that's disappearing faster than my money... is my Kleenex."

"You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it's acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch."

"70% of my enemies were once my friends."

"I had a dog with no legs.. I named him cigarette so I could take him for a drag."

"All men are the same Said the Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd"

"Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch."