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Joke of the Day

"Wife: [holding old dog] I thought you took care of this yesterday Stormtrooper husband: *looks out back to see gun marks all over the yard*"

"I just got to my Grandpa's house, we have a little talk about politics, and then he says we should watch something intelligent... And then He put on Fox News."

"The one time when The Hulk farted... it was the fart that was heard around the world. I know, I know."

"Doctors have determined Hillary doesn't have pneumonia Apparently a little girl from Kansas just threw some water on her."

"Why are manhole covers round? Because manholes are round."

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy So now I have to sit down to pee."

"Doughnut boxes advertise ""ZERO TRANS FAT"" as if anyone buying a box of doughnuts cares about the nutritional content."

"What is a Stormtrooper's favorite place to sit. A pew, pew, pew."

"My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'("

"Unlike most English people my girlfriend doesn't have bad teeth. She sold them."