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Joke of the Day

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"(NSFW) My first experience with sex was a lot like getting my first car I didn't really want it but my dad gave it to me anyway"

"Who always wins at musical chairs? Rosa Parks"

"[ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup"

"I would make a sexist joke but... That would be wrong, and being wrong is for women."

"""Vodka martini. Shaken not stirred."" ""So just the normal way you make a martini then?"" ""That's right."""

"What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile"

"Why are all computer scientists such pessimists? They always worry about the worst case!"

"Who Saw Him Go? by Wendy Leeve"