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Joke of the Day
"Well hello, ""Party-Size"" bag of Doritos. Welcome to my party! There will be no other guests."
Next Joke
"""That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing,"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you."" ""Dave,"" my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""
"How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!"
"A stamp collector walks into a bar... He walks up to the hostess and says, ""You're more beautiful than any stamp in my collection"" She replied, ""Philately will get you nowhere."""
"My wife said she wanted to have sex like in the movies.. ..so I fucked her in the arse and came on her face and in her hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies."
"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."
"My carpenter refused to make me a kitchen worktop He said it would be counter-productive."
"Why doesn't r/jokes like fencers? Because they always riposte."
"*singing scales* Do, Re, uh... *calls Lionel Ritchie* ""Hey"" Hello! ""What comes after Do & Re on a music scale?"" Is it Mi you're looking for?"
"Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die."