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Joke of the Day

"Manufacturing Landmines I started manufacturing Landmines in my basement thinking that it'd be cheaper than buying them, but it still cost me an arm and a leg"

"Why did God give women yeast infections? So they would have to know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt too."

"Hey cat, how's about I lick myself for hours then puke where you sleep? Don't answer that. Why do I even talk to you. Stop looking at me."

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? A: Still no ideer"

"Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels."

"I wonder if skunks ever think, ""why do I smell like a pound of weed?"""

"Soup baby What do you call a dead Ukrainian baby. Aborschtion"

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"Ladies: If I hit on you please don't panic, I am a bachelor and that's what bachelors do."