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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? A: Still no ideer"

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread on the ceiling"

"I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains why I'm the only one with brown eyes in the family"

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave."

"son: I don't think he likes me wife: your dad just has a hard time showing affection me: [holding bag of doritos] GOD I LOVE DORITOS"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put in the wrong socks this morning."

"Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan."

"*I gently remove an eyelash from her cheek* ""Make a wish,"" I say. *I am crushed by a T-Rex wearing a saddle seconds later*"

"What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery? Only one cannoli."

"Other silverware probably hates the large spoon that wears skinny jeans, Keds, and thick rimmed glasses. Nobody likes a hipstirrer."