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Joke of the Day

"What is a caterpillar scared of? A dogapillar"

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"

"What do you call a semiaquatic, furry little animal than never amounted to anything in it's life? An *otter* failure (I'll see myself out)"

"Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!"

"It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

"How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"Which chord is essential to every Christian song? Gsus"

"Q: What do you call Robin Hood's mother? A: Mother Hood."

"What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable? ...what's tomato with you?!"