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Joke of the Day

"Scientist have found out that birthdays are healthy. Scientists have discovered that people with more birthdays tend to live longer."

"I'm such an alcoholic.... That when Alcohol does its taxes, it claims me as its dependant!"

"Capital letters... ...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race..."

"I just came in from ________ and boy are my ________ tired. Taco Bell, Bowels"

"It's not love until you don't want them to have a good time without you."

"I don't believe women have souls. Neither do men. I don't believe in souls."

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"Why did Adele cross the street? To say hello.... From the other side."

"The Flash was caught high... He seemed to have taken speed."