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Joke of the Day

"I just came in from ________ and boy are my ________ tired. Taco Bell, Bowels"

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"Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform."
"What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name You didn't hold the pillow down long enough."
"""Whoo, take off your tits!"" -confused pervert"
"What's the worst thing to hear after you have sex with Steve Buscemi? ""I'm not Steve Buscemi."""
"What do you call the mushy red stuff between shark teeth? Slow swimmers"
"What do you call ""nigga milk""? Coffee."
"[firing squad] Any last requests? ""Here's my mixtape, if u like it, will u let me live?"" Yes. *listens* Oh man that's FIRE *gunshots*"
"I haven't spoken to my wife in 20 years I didn't want to interrupt her."
"Jokes about 9/11 Shouldn't be allowed to fly."