231209

Joke of the Day

"How do you make a space party? You planet."

"A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills."

"I hate when people say my skirt looks slutty.. Like, who cares if my balls hang out a little?"

"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*"

"MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have? ME (through tears): A...a friend"

"When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage."

"Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car in Los Angeles this morning. To be fair, the driver had just watched Four Christmases."

"Stripper joke (NSFW?) A man walks into a strip club and immediately gets some action from a stripper. He walks out, satisfied, and says, ""Wow, what great cervix!"""

"A clown is walking through the woods with a kid The kid looks up at the clown, ""It's getting late, and I'm getting scared."" Clown says, ""YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone."""