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Joke of the Day

"Poor onions I cried when my Dad sliced Onions. I missed Onions. He was a good dog."

"What do you call it when an amputee does Karate? Partial Arts! :)"

"Smart cars are a good idea until you die in a 5 mph parking lot collision"

"If Trump deports all the Mexicans Who's going to build the wall?"

"Failed my biology test today: They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"I'm just a girl standing here wishing I was as thin as my patience"

"My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then."

"I can't imagine the difficulties of growing up with 2 gay dads double the dad jokes."

"Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet? Are you ashamed of me?"

"My Dr. just diagnosed me as 'paranoid'! Well, she didn't say that, but I know the bitch was thinking it!"