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Joke of the Day

"Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... **Coughs up hairball** Dog: You gonna eat that?"

"A mathematician tries to go to the beach... A mathematician tried to go to the beach to get a tan, but he couldn't find it cos there were no sines."

"ANYTHING can be considered your job if you hate it enough."

"What do you call a corn farmer who had his genitals removed A eunuch corn"

"Tim buck two One day, my mate Tim and I went camping, we met three girls in their tent. I bucked one and Tim bucked two."

"A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms."

"You can't always get what you want, but if you cry loud enough you'll at least have the satisfaction of making everyone really uncomfortable"

"Q: How do you catch a rabbit? A: Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises."

"What do you call s'mores in Spanish? S'mas"

"Therapist: do u communicate with your kids? Me: my son stays in his room all day & never speaks Therapist [looks at notes]: the 5 week old?"