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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay town in New Mexico? Albuqueerque."

"Very sad to hear about Nigel Farage. Nothing's happened to him, I'm just sad to hear about him."

"Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son? She named him Oedipus."

"Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car? She got tired of all that Cruise control."

"If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that's still a sports injury, right?"

"""I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT"" - Guy who named the sweater."

"Why did the cowboy get a miniature dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy."

"House is clean. Time to sell the children and move."

"Just saw a cyclist put his hand out to indicate he was turning left when a lone pedestrian high fived him. I feel so good right now."

"Gotta get me one of those iPhone-credit-card holders so I can lose everything at once and be totally completely fucked forever."