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Joke of the Day

"Gotta get me one of those iPhone-credit-card holders so I can lose everything at once and be totally completely fucked forever."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"Why is the sand so quiet? Because the waves keep going ""shhhhhh""."

"Why did Steph Curry cross the road? Because he wasn't far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot."

"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."

"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""

"""Snowmageddon""? We can do better, Twitter. #SnowCountryForOldMen #ISnowWhatYouDidLastWinter #SnowMommaFromTheTrain #Snowverfield"

"How much of northern Canada is livable? *Nunavut*"

"Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it"

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."