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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos made it to the finals? Because they want that **Super Bowl!**"

"Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch."

"what do you call an underwater dog? a sub-woofer"

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"Why do British people never sound British when they sing?"

"Walked by Starbucks today. The line was out the door. I've never seen so many pink cell phone cases in one place."

"Yo Mama! What's the difference between your mama and a refrigerator? The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out!"

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"Dammit Dad Dad: ""Whaddya got there, son?"" Son: ""Soy milk."" Dad: -pauses- ""Hola milk, soy tu padre."""

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."