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Joke of the Day

"Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch."

"PhotoShop Level:Expert Boy: Wow... You Look So Perfect with Incredible Body And Flower like skin... What do You Use ? . . . . . . Girl : Adobe Photoshop CS5!"

"What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ? Fowl play !"

"Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other."

"I just won the Polish Lottery..... $1.00 a year for a million years."

"A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"" Fucking b*tch."

"I figured out I'm autosapiosexual. I just came to this conclusion."

"The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins."

"Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring? He was a master of blocking attacks."