49066

Joke of the Day

"Walked by Starbucks today. The line was out the door. I've never seen so many pink cell phone cases in one place."

"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"

"What is the needless meat to a vagina? The woman!"

"[parent/teacher meeting] ""you must've read to him as a baby"" *leans forward in little desk* lady, I didn't even know him when I was a baby"

"Brian Williams told me if I lied I can get to the front page."

"I want to give a shoutout to sidewalks For keeping me off the streets."

"Why are there no black cults? Everyone drinks the kool-ade on the first day."

"A little poetry never killed anybody. But haiku keeps trying."

"How can you tell if an envelope is gay? It comes in the mail."

"What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.? A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!"