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Joke of the Day
"Huge bowls of cereal are the parentheses to my night's sleep."
Next Joke
"I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring."
"Remember how terrified Sarah Connor was when the Terminator came around the corner @ the hospital in T2? IMAGINE IF IT HAD BEEN STEVE HARVEY"
"Q. Why do blondes have more fun? A. They are easier to keep amused."
"What's the best part of a race riot All of the free sports jerseys"
"Facebook: where English goes to die."
"What's the difference between you and Bear Grylls? You'd get fired if you drank piss at work."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."
"Have you ever seen moth balls? You have? Then how the hell did you get their legs apart?"
"Ordered a pizza. Delivery guy and I talked for 45 minutes about swords and he got fired. Now he lives here, we're gonna fight crime together"