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Joke of the Day

"I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them."

"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !"

"I was on the exercise bike for almost 30 minutes just now. It was pretty easy. Tomorrow I may even try using the pedals."

"My science test was like Jesus and the Cross... I fucking nailed it. Ok, I'll go now."

"What do you call a selfless pastrami? Pastramyou"

"Almost all of the guys I drafted for my fantasy football team are football players which I think was a smart move"

"What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor? David Buoy"

"If I can't buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop."

"Gravity Maxim Trow yourself from the building and catch from the boardwalk!"

"For all the downvoters GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER"