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Joke of the Day
"They say the human imagination is infinite. Try to imagine a new color."
Next Joke
"1 + 1 = 3 If you don't use a condom"
"You know that amazing feeling you get after kissing a woman? of course you don't."
"going to office: late . going to a doctors appointment: late . going to a friends house: late . going to a concert: 8 hours early"
"Patrick and Bruce Patrick Bateman and Bruce Wayne are having a business lunch together. Suddenly, Bruce senses something is wrong, and looks at his watch. ""Sorry to be so rude, but I've got to Bale""."
"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."
"Me: And what do you do if I tell you I'm having a heart attack? Siri: I clear your browser history. Me: That's right darling."
"If your New Year's resolution involves less drinking or cursing, it involves less of me."
"Waitress: need anything else? Me: yes, a cup of black coffee. W: and how would u like your coffee? M: uhhh..black and in a cup?"
"Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff? So in the end they didn't even splatter."