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Joke of the Day
"Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally."
Next Joke
"Why was the heroin dealer arrested at the basketball game? He was talking smack."
"Okay, calm down. It's a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!"
"BREAKING NEWS A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case."
"Girls, get your abortions NOW in case the Republicans win"
"""Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, yep, yep, uh huh, uh huh, ok, you too, bye"": Man side of every phone conversation with his wife."
"*whispers to an avocado* ""I'm the good kind of fat, too."""
"The ladies call me ""subway"".. ..because I lie about being 12 inches and my meat smells like a yoga mat."
"If I could be Brad Pitt for a day, I'd dress Angelina in a Santa Suit and beg her to violate herself with a Hickory Farms Summer Sausage."
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice. (Sorry for old joke)"