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Joke of the Day

"Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing."

"Vaginas are like the weather If its wet, its time to go inside."

"My phone just autocorrected mornin to Mormon and now it won't stop making macaroni pictures and having sex with multiple phone wives."

"If you text ""Haiti"" to Pat Robertson's phone number, $10 will be deducted from his account and sent to Haiti."

"What'd be worse? Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter?"

"What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife."

"Knock knock Who's there? Police. Your wife has been involved in a terrible car accident."

"why are people so disgusted when someone farts around them? I mean, come on, a little gas never killed anyone"

"What did Paul Walker say after filiming the car chase scene?"

"OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!"