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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to people who don't know the opposite of in"

"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."

"The birds and the bees I told my son about the birds and the bees. He then told me about the postman and my wife."

"I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"What is it called when your s.o. comes up with reasons to not make love? Sexcuses"

"I read a story about a kid that ate 4 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting... It said that he later had a massive vowel movement. Maybe a dirty joke."

"The bus carrying the Chinese tourists crashed. It hit a language barrier."

"A waiter just asked me if eat meat. I felt like a 70 year old women getting carded at a bar."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"Vegan ribs are actually delicious! The hardest part is hunting down the vegan."