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Joke of the Day

"When my phone rings, I stay very, very still. If I don't move, it can't see me."

"That deli has a reputation for sub-par hoagies, ...but the one I had was exactly average."

"What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic? Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until a boy is at least 14 before coming on his face."

"If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to share it with everyone. Not the money, just going to let you know that I've won."

"News reports say that someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."

"what kind of knife is used to perform female circumcision? a beaver cleaver"

"Despite the rumors, I actually don't have a problem with the new $20.... This country has a long history of trading black people for other goods."

"""You want to have your cake and eat it, too."" ""Yeah. It's MY cake."""

"What's the best thing about finger blasting a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free"