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Joke of the Day

"When my phone rings, I stay very, very still. If I don't move, it can't see me."

"What is the only bent straight line? Its one direction of course."

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"Chinese culture lesson In china people used to eat weed That's why they saw dragons and can't open their eyes again."

"The story of the co-pilot shows what happens if you don't deal with depresion You will just bring down others"

"YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any."

"Why is there a rape culture? Bcos, to some men, the inability to rape, felt like rape."

"My book on tantric sex finally arrived. Damn thing took ages to come."

"Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat."

"Sorry I can't pay for a new car right now, I'm still paying off a Naked Juice I bought in 2014"