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Joke of the Day

"You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?"

"Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself. Me: Make up your mind."

"D'you want to hear a spoiler for the Jumanji remake? Robin Williams dies"

"Steve Irwin lived the same way he died... With animals in his heart."

"Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?"

"What do Pentecostals and Nudists have in common? Neither can wear pants"

"Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible ? The characters in this book are entirely fictional."

"It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants."

"Walk like an Egyptian is a song, but also a sure fire way to make it safely through a bad neighborhood."

"If I was Penguin's attorney I'd request bail by saying ""He's no flight risk!"" Then Hi-5 the whole courtroom but Batman. I'd leave him hangin"