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Joke of the Day

"Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself. Me: Make up your mind."

"My parents never taught me how to be humble or modest I'm just naturally incredible at it."

"I lost 130 pounds of useless fat! Divorce is great!"

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the band The Monkees, i thought she was joking... then i saw her face..."

"Who could it be? there's a big idiot between the ""I"" and the ""Y"" on the keyboard. Why don't you go and see who it is?"

"Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you're talking about. - ""That's exactly what ignorant means."" I don't get it."

"What's the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille? ""Danger: Do not touch"""

"Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash. It was the left wing."

"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."

"Freudian analysts How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?? Sex"