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Joke of the Day

"""If all your friends jumped"" 'Yes' ""But if they"" 'Yes' ""But"" 'IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?"

"The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart."

"How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on!"

"According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse."

"Confucius say.. Man who stand on toilet bowl, high on pot."

"What's the best part about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag's a plus."

"[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown? Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)"

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions."

"I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*."

"What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."