197393

Joke of the Day

"Someone on my FB posted a snap that said ""I'm boared"" And I'm just like....... *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment"

"Doctor: ""Well, Mrs Jones, you are eating for two now!"" Kate: ""I'm pregnant?!"" Doctor: ""No. You have a tapeworm."""

"What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas? Nebola"

"What's the difference between toilet paper and toast? Toast is brown on both sides."

"Recently a fellow coin maker challenged me to beat his best work. (x-post /r/3amjokes) When I punched his daughter's face, he said ""That's not what I mint."" At least his daughter was impressed."

"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."

"ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can't be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a"

"What kind of sword is good for chopping up young girls? A cutlass."

"If Usain Bolt ever becomes a zombie we are all screwed."

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But, numbers can. 4/10"