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Joke of the Day

"Remember that someone out there is thinking of you right now, figuring out how to make your death look like an accident."

"What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a pit bull? The pit bull will eventually let go."

"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse."

"Hey, what's the difference between reddit and LOTR? In the books and movies, the trolls didn't type."

"Im gonna tell my daughter to lay off the liquor, cause I love her! (...and I dont want her to mess up her kidneys before I need one)"

"It is said that wearing T-shirts make you feel cooler in Summer I've been wearing a dozen of them but it's still hot like hell. Damn."

"ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this"

"Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile."

"I named my dog WiFi Because I stole it from my neighbor"