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Joke of the Day

"The local pedophile claims he got a perfect score on his SAT back in the day. Said it was as easy as giving candy to a baby."

"""Ooh fun, I have an email!"" - me, forgetting about the email I sent myself NOT ONE SECOND AGO"

"Why did the fish's car break down? It needed a tuna-up."

"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."

"How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet? I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers."

"Pokemon GO is the biggest thing right now, guess whats up next! Plantation Tycoon DownSouth 1600s Go Railroad 1800's Tycoon Auschwitz Tycoon Pedophile Go"

"Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, 'next we go into our downward dog,' it is frowned upon to make the 'bowchickabowow' sound."

"I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"

"What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama bin Latte"

"A Rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Confused, the bartender asks, ""Where did you get that??"" The parrot replied, ""Oh him? New York."""