23040
Joke of the Day
"My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer."
Next Joke
"Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking."
"Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me."
"[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know"
"Did you hear about the cow that tried to hurdle a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster."
"""so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?"" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first"
"My local supermarket is selling Star Wars-themed cereal... They really are trying to milk the franchise for all its worth."
"I wonder how telemarketers react to other telemarketers when they are at home..."
"Why don't blind people like to go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."
"How do you know you've satisfied a redhead? She unlocks the handcuffs. Edit: for everyone that isn't getting it, it means kinky sex"