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Joke of the Day
"What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish? Long time no sea."
Next Joke
"Muslim: I do not eat bacon. Jew: I do not eat bacon. Me: I will have their bacon."
"Humpty Dumpty Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."
"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult."
"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"
"COP: Freeze!!! EXCEL: LOL no problem"
"I know why my saturdays are so shitty now... because there's always a turd in it."
"what do you call a turtle dressed as a guido a slowbro"
"School in Canada makes non-vaccinated students stay home to halt the spread of measles. Better safe than sorry."
"In most conversations, my face is basically a red battery logo with 10% written next to it."