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Joke of the Day

"Muslim: I do not eat bacon. Jew: I do not eat bacon. Me: I will have their bacon."

"I'm sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they've won the Canadian lottery."

"I dig, She digs, He digs, They dig, We all dig.... Its a beautiful poem....very deep."

"Look... don't end your presentation with ""Are there any questions?"" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle."

"COP: Describe the robber to our sketch artist ME: He had one eye higher than the other and his lips on his forehead PICASSO: I got this"

"It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards. Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey."

"Comcast: ""Would you like to upgrade your Internet service to include cable?"" Me: ""No thanks, the illegal downloading has that base covered."""

"I'am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone"

"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."

"Did you hear about the hooker that went to the bank for a loan? She just needed something to get her by until she could get back on her back"