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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bum and a crust punk Patches ;D"

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"I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels...boy was I wrong"
"As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it."
"Women are like cars. We want the ones that look AND work the best, but none of us have the money."
"You know that guy who looks like that other guy in that show we used to like? He died. - how my wife and I communicate"
"Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you."
"Who needs Black Friday... when you have Mike Brown Monday?"
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they get in there."
"Two dyslexic men walk into a bra."
"Why don't English teachers like parole? They prefer complete sentences."