230211

Joke of the Day

"I sprinkled viagra in my eyes today... Now I look hard."

"As my friend confessed, ""My teenage daughter never even talks to me,"" I struggled to conceal my jealousy."

"What's the difference between a pack of pygmies and a female cross-country team? One is a bunch of cunning runts and the other is..."

"*guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards"

"good parents A mother said to her son, ""Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."" The son replied, ""Maybe he has good parents then!"""

"My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't stop talking about Star Wars. I said ""Please don't leave me, Yoda one for me."" In other news, I'm single."

"Blind man walks into a bar... ...bartender asks if he likes his beer light or dark."

"Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort) Lady Astor said to Churchill, ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea,"" to which he responded, ""Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"""

"My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy."

"What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window? Kurt and Rod"