229945

Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta? When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt."

Next Joke
 
"New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said ""No"" so I said SIRI ously"
"How does Furious 7 end? Paul Walker dies."
"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."
"The way to treat women is always in your heart. Beat beat beat."
"I'm so dependent on the google ""did you mean ____?"" that i barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly"
"I don't get why I'm supposed to like someone who's different in the streets and in the sheets sounds duplicitous just be a freak everywhere."
"Why did the punk-rocker cross the road? He had a chicken stapled to his face."
"[tv commercial] me: ""know what i'd love for breakfast?"" mum: ""what's that son?"" me: ""if someone pre-chewed my food"" narrator: ""porridge"""
"My favorite part of church is when they pass around free money."