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Joke of the Day

"Chivalry Is Dead They said chivalry is dead so I wanted to prove them wrong. I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""Asshole, I'm peeing in here!"""

"I walked in on my roommate watching midget porn When I questioned him about it, he started getting short with me"

"I get 9"" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable."

"Q: Who burped at the big bad wolf? A: Little Rude Riding Hood!"

"What does an Arab say after losing his virginity? Good goat!"

"Why is modern wheat supperior to old wheat? it's bred and better!"

"Jared from Subway ended his career the same way he started it. Trying to get into small pants."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool. :-)"

"People without profile photos, put your photo up 'cause there's no way you're as fat as we're all imagining."

"He was a good dog. He was a beautiful, very good dog. Who was a good dog? Who's a beautiful, good boy? Was it you? It was.Dog obituary"